The Aquarium

The spring evening settles around us as we keen, sailboats restless in our berths. We are trapped souls, our barren masts scratching skywards, pulsing, almost vibrating against the indignity of our nakedness. Waiting for the disguise of darkness to camouflage our wounds. We are still alive.  We are the clinical trials which never took place, […]

Complex PTSD & Resting In Stillness

It took the death of my father to free me from a lifetime of emotional abuse as the daughter of a narcissistic mother. To open my eyes and swim away. To save myself from drowning. At first, I experienced one of those ‘pink cloud’ periods. Out of her sphere of influence, I was liberated. Powerful. […]

Thirty Years

“Within us is a secret longing to remember the light, to step out of time in this dancing world. It’s where we began and where we return.” Jack Kornfield Last night, I shared my story at AA for the first time. I don’t owe my sobriety to AA, however.  I was one of those people […]

37.5

stomache problems continue … being a vegetarian it is really difficult to find anything to eat which does not result in severe stomache upset … flu like symptoms continue w/use of advil helping abate enough to be able to function. sleep problems make me upping the klonopin again and taking GABA, sameE, vitamin D, and […]

37.5

Tomorrow begins week two of cutback … began in January @150… we have added samE, folic acid, lithate, (searching for celery root)… working with osteopath … considering LEM. Yoga 4x a week. cardio a few times a week (not enough!) Meditation. Looking for mindful meditation group and for support group for people who are withdrawing […]

doghouse found

  Even now, six years after leaving home, I return here with my old ‘new’ dogs, Stella and Macaroni. We sit and watch as the tide moves into the Lagoon, and I remember hundreds of walks along the shore with Gussie and Bobo; and Stella as a pup, how she would swim across the channel […]