The Aquarium

The spring evening settles around us as we keen, sailboats restless in our berths. We are trapped souls, our barren masts scratching skywards, pulsing, almost vibrating against the indignity of our nakedness. Waiting for the disguise of darkness to camouflage our wounds. We are still alive.  We are the clinical trials which never took place, […]

The Stomach & The Brain

After my latest major psychological/spiritual episode late last year, I opt to do things differently. I decide to concurrently take the terrifying plunge and change my meds by consulting with an unconventional and highly respected psychiatrist. I follow this with five days working one-on-one with my master yoga teacher, an aruvedic healer. At first glance, […]

Complex PTSD & Resting In Stillness

It took the death of my father to free me from a lifetime of emotional abuse as the daughter of a narcissistic mother. To open my eyes and swim away. To save myself from drowning. At first, I experienced one of those ‘pink cloud’ periods. Out of her sphere of influence, I was liberated. Powerful. […]

Thirty Years

“Within us is a secret longing to remember the light, to step out of time in this dancing world. It’s where we began and where we return.” Jack Kornfield Last night, I shared my story at AA for the first time. I don’t owe my sobriety to AA, however.  I was one of those people […]

37.5

March 13, 2012 Stomach problems continue. Being a vegetarian makes it very challenging to find anything to eat which does not result in severe stomach upset. Using Advil to combat Flu like symptoms. Sleep problems have me increasing Klonopin again. Taking GABA, sameE, vitamin D, and lithate. Irritability. Exhaustion and fatigue. Mood swings.

37.5

March 2012. Tomorrow begins week two of the next Effexor cutback from starting point of 150mg in January. which began in January @150. We have added samE, folic acid, lithate, (searching for celery root). Working with an osteopath. Considering LEM. Yoga 4x a week. Cardio a few times a week. Meditation. Looking for mindful meditation […]

doghouse found

  Even now, six years after leaving home, I return here with my old ‘new’ dogs, Stella and Macaroni. We sit and watch as the tide moves into the Lagoon, and I remember hundreds of walks along the shore with Gussie and Bobo; and Stella as a pup, how she would swim across the channel […]