Rakhe Rakhan Har – Mirabai Ceiba – Sevati
I still struggle with memory problems, cognitive dissonance, brain fog. This despite the fact that I am currently down to 37.5 mg of Effexor, 25 in the am and 12.5 before sleep.
For much of the time I have been away from the site, my absence has been due to my inability to connect to my creative self, often so overwhelmed with the battle to face each day, deal with the shifts which I am continually making in the resources I use in the attempt to find equilibrium in my life. I successfully launched a nonprofit last summer, but it is only in the last month or so, after a year experimenting with Lamictal to wean off the Effexor left me a virtual zombie, that I am reemerging with an ability to string together more than just a few hours of being connected to life, to an inner stillness, to faith and the belief that I am perhaps moving forward on this journey.
One of the most interesting developments happened last fall when I had genetic testing to determine what drugs would actually work for me. The findings weren’t surprising. Turns out SSRIs and SNRIs are probably the worst drugs I could have been on. A lot of fascinating information on how I don’t have sufficient receptors to uptake serotonin, that meds like atypical antipsychotics (Abilify or Latuda in small doses) would work better for me, as would Lithium, Vybrid, Buspar. Benzos are not contraindicated. (There was some intriguing information about my calcium channel, partial agonists, etc. but I have to honestly say I haven’t been keeping up with the science lately and I’ll have to look over my results in more depth to digest all this information.)
Right now, we are working with a mere 20mg of Latuda and have cut back the lamictal from 150 to 25 en route to total elimination.
I am about one month into the Latuda right now and having shifted to taking it in the evening, am finding more clarity in my thoughts, more ability to organize and focus. Some clearing.
These are the side effects from 20 years of being on psychotrophic medications.
- worsening depression
- erratic mood swings
- intrusive disturbing thoughts
- adrenal rushes
- elevated white blood count*
- High Blood Sugar*
- Elevated Cholesterol*
- Excessive Weight gain (I have now lost over 60 pounds)
- Excessive dental problems*
- Vision: astigmatism, suspected ….. , excessive eye tearing, problems with depth perception and focusing*
- Memory loss
- Cognitive impairment
- Impaired social and family relationships
- Lack of self esteem*
- Feeling intrinsically flawed.*
*Resolved, resolving or improving.
My Current Regime
- 25 mg Effexor
- 25 mg. Lamictal
- Ultimate Omega 4000 mg
- DHEA 5 mg.
- Vitamin D3 5000 iu, 1 capsule
- Vitamin B-complex 100 mg
- Ashwagandha 1 capsule
- VitalzymeX 3 capsules
- Inositol 5 mg.
- Restore 1 tsp.
- Dr. Tony O’Donell’s Vegan Protein w/8 oz. Unsweetened Almond Milk, 10 blueberries (add the inositol and restore)
- 20 Mg Latuda
- 12.5 mg Effexor
- Inositol 5 mg
- Magnesium Glycinate 40 mg
- Ashwagandha 1 capsule
- Klonopin 2.0-2.5
- Kavinace 1-2 capsules
- <25 Trazadone
Night time Listening: (These are my reliable standbys to fall to sleep to)
- Drift, Tania Rose
- Yoga Nidra
- The Mindful Brain, Daniel J. Siegel
- Meditation to Steady the Mind, etc. Rick Hanson
Background loop Rakhe Rakhan Har – Mirabai Ceiba – Sevati
3 AM as needed
- L’Theanine 1-4 100 mg capsules
- Worse case scenario: .5-1mg klonopin
- Yoga 6 times a week (Hatha and Vinyassa Flow, Kundalini, Restorative)
- Daily Meditation
- Adult Coloring Books
- Weekly Therapy
- Monthly consult with pdoc
Living Your Yoga: Finding the Spiritual in Everyday Life Judith Lasater
Meditations from the Mat Rolf Gates
The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle
The iRest Program for Healing PTSD – Richard Miller
Man’s Eternal Quest Paramahansa Yogananda
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Sri Swami Satchidananda