“There’s an elephant in the room.
There’s a problem that we never talk about.

Walking on Eggshells Walking on eggshells describes a sense of feeling it is necessary to maintain an abnormally high level of vigilance, or an unusually high level of caution in a particular situation.

Usually the phrase is used to describe a tense and dysfunctional relationship with another person – as in “Mary walks on eggshells whenever Sam is around.”

When you are in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder, it is very common to be in a nearly constant state of hyper-vigilance around that person.

You may feel this state of vigilance is necessary because you hope that by being very careful in all that you say and do, their raging or “crazy making” behavior might be reduced or avoided.

You may feel that if you can ‘just get it right’ the relationship will be okay once again.

You may feel (or you may have been told) that all the problems are your fault, and that all the issues in the relationship are because of your behavior.

These self-blaming attitudes are often vigorously reinforced by the BP in your life.

According to the BP, the fault never lies with them or their behavior – you are the only one that needs work!

Service Sabbaticals
Service Sabbaticals make it possible for university employees with two or more years of service to be relieved of their duties to the university for one month or less in order to work full time for a community organization. Recipients will continue to receive their university paychecks during their sabbaticals.

Deborah Phelan served for 10 days at her parents house on Long Island, New York. Even after over 14 years in therapy, living 24/7 with a mother whose erraric moods, accusatory behaviours, alcholoic drinking, and narcissistic personality disorder made the situation similar to walking on minefield.

“There is also a category of people who don’t have any Alpha waves and also have low amplitude brainwave activity across all bands. I see this in about 30-40% of the patients I treat. Neurologically, we refer to these people as hypervigilent. The definition of hypervigilence is someone who cannot turn off his or her mental activity for any length of time. They must always be thinking or focusing on something. They tend not to be able to let go of emotional issues but rather obsess relentlessly about them.”
he pain is now only a figment of the imagination residing as a cellular memory.” link

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