February 21, 2019. I’m on day 7 of my second attempt to use medical marijuana to reduce my medications. We are experimenting with 1/4 of a dropper (about 15 drops) of a 20:1 tincture (with 20 being the CBD and 1 being the THC). Working with a former ER doc from San Francisco who now […]
January 2019 I returned to Crissy Field with my dog yesterday morning. The first day of feeling closer to sanity than I had in about five days after yet another attempt to taper down on Effexor. For several years, I’d been stalled at 37.5 (split between an am dose of 25mg with 17.5 mg with […]
bench collapsing mudstone cliffs. slippery weathered stone. wanderlusting coffee- and black- berry bushes. EVERYWHERE nature overflows into EXCESS.
Paris I woke up hopeful, light, as if some mysterious presence had visited me during the nearly 12 hours I slept to reassure me that not only can I do this but I can do this well. The way I truly want to do this. To be in each moment, to savor. Sitting at the […]
November, 2012 Last week Sunday. Restorative Yoga. One of the first poses. Paschimottanasana. I’m doing this inner brain visualization with tactics I learned from Reiki years ago. Moving my consciousness around, along the top of my brain. Pushing bright light deep into my consciousness . Visioning it swimming under huge silver buckets of clear cool […]
January 2015 It’s well before 8 Saturday morning, the eve of the Winter Solstice, as I set out for the waterfront, dogs trotting, impatient, beside me. The fog hovers over the puddled pavement. A mere five minute walk to the marina, a grassy promenade grazing the bay near the houseboats and anchor outs. A well […]
It took the death of my father to free me from a lifetime of emotional abuse as the daughter of a narcissistic mother. To open my eyes and swim away. To save myself from drowning. At first, I experienced one of those ‘pink cloud’ periods. Out of her sphere of influence, I was liberated. Powerful. […]
“To learn to see- to accustom the eye to calmness, to patience, and to allow things to come up to it; to defer judgment, and to acquire the habit of approaching and grasping an individual case from all sides. This is the first preparatory schooling of intellectuality. One must not respond immediately to a stimulus; one must acquire a command of the obstructing and isolating instincts.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols
Reflecting now on the downward spiral which began after the drop to 37.5, I think I truly had not laid the foundation adequately. So much of what needed to be place for success was barely perceptible, inconsequential, non-existent or merely under-development, much like the ‘story of house”, vulnerable to a series of minor wind storms […]
At first when I open an email from Rick Hanson seeking input for his new book on experiences any of us have had with his suggestion of “taking in the good,” I think I have nothing to offer here. Right now. I’m too bruised.