The Aquarium

The spring evening settles around us as we keen, sailboats restless in our berths. We are trapped souls, our barren masts scratching skywards, pulsing, almost vibrating against the indignity of our nakedness. Waiting for the disguise of darkness to camouflage our wounds. We are still alive.  We are the clinical trials which never took place, […]

Thirty Years

“Within us is a secret longing to remember the light, to step out of time in this dancing world. It’s where we began and where we return.” Jack Kornfield Last night, I shared my story at AA for the first time. I don’t owe my sobriety to AA, however.  I was one of those people […]

the continuing 37.5 ..

I am stuck at 37.5. Sucked into Mindful Meditation for hours each night. Listening to tapes, attended Rick Hanson’s Lecture at Spirit Rock on the Neurology of Awakening … how to change your mind through mindful meditation. Ah, so much work…

37.5

March 13, 2012 Stomach problems continue. Being a vegetarian makes it very challenging to find anything to eat which does not result in severe stomach upset. Using Advil to combat Flu like symptoms. Sleep problems have me increasing Klonopin again. Taking GABA, sameE, vitamin D, and lithate. Irritability. Exhaustion and fatigue. Mood swings.

37.5

March 2012. Tomorrow begins week two of the next Effexor cutback from starting point of 150mg in January. which began in January @150. We have added samE, folic acid, lithate, (searching for celery root). Working with an osteopath. Considering LEM. Yoga 4x a week. Cardio a few times a week. Meditation. Looking for mindful meditation […]

The Work

February, 2012 … Still, I’m on this journey lately. A journey back to the time before all hell broke loose in my psyche, ripping apart the integral bonds which had afforded me an admittedly shaky and vulnerable footing in ‘reality.’