The Aquarium

The spring evening settles around us as we keen, sailboats restless in our berths. We are trapped souls, our barren masts scratching skywards, pulsing, almost vibrating against the indignity of our nakedness. Waiting for the disguise of darkness to camouflage our wounds. We are still alive.  We are the clinical trials which never took place, […]

Thirty Years

“Within us is a secret longing to remember the light, to step out of time in this dancing world. It’s where we began and where we return.” Jack Kornfield Last night, I shared my story at AA for the first time. I don’t owe my sobriety to AA, however.  I was one of those people […]

the continuing 37.5 ..

I am stuck at 37.5. Sucked into Mindful Meditation for hours each night. Listening to tapes, attended Rick Hanson’s Lecture at Spirit Rock on the Neurology of Awakening … how to change your mind through mindful meditation. Ah, so much work…

37.5

stomache problems continue … being a vegetarian it is really difficult to find anything to eat which does not result in severe stomache upset … flu like symptoms continue w/use of advil helping abate enough to be able to function. sleep problems make me upping the klonopin again and taking GABA, sameE, vitamin D, and […]

37.5

Tomorrow begins week two of cutback … began in January @150… we have added samE, folic acid, lithate, (searching for celery root)… working with osteopath … considering LEM. Yoga 4x a week. cardio a few times a week (not enough!) Meditation. Looking for mindful meditation group and for support group for people who are withdrawing […]

doghouse found

  Even now, six years after leaving home, I return here with my old ‘new’ dogs, Stella and Macaroni. We sit and watch as the tide moves into the Lagoon, and I remember hundreds of walks along the shore with Gussie and Bobo; and Stella as a pup, how she would swim across the channel […]

mirror neurons

Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD, and his colleagues at the University of Parma were mapping the brains of monkeys to see how specific areas of the brain function“They were monitoring a cell,” Goleman says, “that only fired when the monkey lifted its arm. One day, the cell fired even though the monkey hadn’t lifted its arm […]

NPR: Perspective

This was broacast on NPR by a dear, dear friend … and it is about moi! I will post the audio as soon as it becomes available. I have a friend who has problems with serious depression. The kind that twists external reality and destroys her inner peace of mind with a crushing sense of […]

The Icarus Project: Navigating the Space between Brilliance and Madness

BrainZaps Beat: Organization: The Icarus Project. Five Sanity Points.Check out the Icarus Project. A visionary, comprehensive resource for outreach, organizing, and research on all aspects of mental illness. Focusing on establishing a network of grassroots, community based groups across the country (with global chapters forming), Icarus seeks to create an evolved vision of the experience […]

clinical trials & effects of long term use of Effexor XR

i speak to my psychiatrist yesterday about the effects of long term effexor use for major depression recurrent. She says studies show that treatment with effexor is more effective in preventing cognitive degeneration than non treatment. I discuss the reports I read online of real people discussing the effects of effexor use … memory problems, […]