Manic/Mania – how to explain
It sounds unbelievable but I can tell the difference between lack of sleep because I’m sick or hot, and lack of sleep because I’m heading towards mania. Of course, after about 3 days of not sleeping due to sick/hot, and the reason won’t matter– I’ll be well on my way to madness. But nevertheless, it really does FEEL different, almost like a seizure– one can REALIZE that one is spinning out of control and still be spinning all the same.
Then I read this:
“But when you’re heading toward mania, the slightest sensation hotwires your nerves. Sound is noise, sunshine is glare… the little hairs along the back of my neck and arms were bristling with outrage… something had to be done– this instant” [Manic, Terri Cheney, page 60]
And I think that’s it– sunshine is a glare. And not in a I-need-my-sunglasses way. You can’t be that logical – that’s going too far. It’s more like sunshine is a glare and you feel weird about it. Like the sun is different somehow, the room is wavy.
I’m also reading a book on the history of psychiatry, which should be interesting and I’ll post some thoughts here, but not before ALSO reading the opposite perspective– “Madness, Heresy, and Rumors of Angels”.